The Three Corporate Lessons:
Lesson
Number One:
A
crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him,
"Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered:
Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson
Number Two:
A
turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump
of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched
at the top of the tree. Soon a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree,
promptly spotted him.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to
the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson
Number Three:
A
little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze
and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came
by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of
cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing
him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him!
The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops
shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you
out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.
More Funnies
1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2.
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse
and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, trulyunique,
except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front
of the similar one in back."
4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father."
5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some
deaths in boxing -but none of them really that serious."
6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again."
7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice,the
wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."
9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like
they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing
so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and
kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"